I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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