During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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