I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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