How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize
