he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
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