No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
