i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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