Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
