i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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