I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
