I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We just shotgunned beers for America
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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