I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Boobs speak an international language.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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