I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
