just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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