so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pants are for mortals
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize