New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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