Porn is love you can see.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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