All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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