but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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