And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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