Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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