Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
