she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
