I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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