You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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