I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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