YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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