just come out here and I will go home with you...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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