In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
