That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
