I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
