Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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