Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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