whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
