If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize