If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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