My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
