And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize