Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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