You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
