Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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