that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
