Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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