He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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