So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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