Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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