life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
