he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
