But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
