I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
