using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize