it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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