His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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