Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
