ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize