i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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