I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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