BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Randomize
