yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
