So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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