Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
