i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
