I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
