Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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