Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
420 ftw
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
3pm strippers are depressing
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
