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He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Watching her eat just hurts me
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
