what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize