oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Everyone says I win the strip club
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
