Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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