Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
