You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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