I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
