I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
