A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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