Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
