i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
