I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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