Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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